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While everyone else's thoughts supposingly circle around tea and cake my thoughts are back in a depressive cycle. Hurray for me!
While I'm trying my best to fix myself everything around me falls apart. I lose my job, my car's battery can't keep its energy for two weeks straight (apart from my car falling apart nearly everywhere anyway) and I can't speak my mind.
If life handles you lemons don't make lemonade. Throw them back at life or else it will get the impression that you're able to deal with lemons and next time it handles you coconuts....
  • Mood: Gloomy
I'm at the hospital.
Well, obviously not right now. I'm home for the weekend.
I'm mostly there for a short time therapy I'll probably describe later, but also to have my latest outbreak of depression treated.
Which turns out to be quite complicated. After more than ten years of taking various antidepressants it was found out that I metabolise them too quickly to work. I take double the dose I used to and it has to show whether it works. I really ask myself why they didn't discover that in Nuremberg when they ran exactly the same blood test. No wonder my depression never got any better then.
Sleep deprivation and shifting sleep afterwards works wonders for me. It wasn't hard for me to stay up for 36 hours straight and surprisingly only getting seven hours of sleep and getting up at 1am was easy, too. The first time I did it I felt a certain euphoria that didn't reoccur the second time (i.e. now). I'm a bit disappointed, but I understand why it is the way it is.
Also, I have a gall stone that could've been discovered before if anyone had cared to interpret my blood tests properly.

Let's hope that the new dosage works. If not I might be left with MAO inhibitors. Although they might have gotten less scary over the last few years, I'm not fond of that idea. MAOI usually mean a special diet and cause trouble with modern antibiotics, if I remember the antibiotics' label properly...
  • Mood: Triumph
I'm a bit late to jump on the bandwagon, but recently I've fallen in love with Lorde. Her songs sound so effortlessly good it makes me want to cry. I know that a couple of people wrote the songs with her, but I still feel like a bad songwriter now. I've neglected songwriting ever since I started working, but sometimes it still pops up and I'm left with the urgency to write a song. I mostly miss my old MIDI programm. It was really nice, but it requires Windows and doesn't quite run under wine, a Windows emulator for Linux. And sequencers for Linux are complicated, they want one special sound driver that doesn't seem to work on my machine. I think I'll setup some low-fi windows computer just to have my working environment back. I remember how I loved working with music. Maybe I should really learn how to play the guitar, it could make things easier, but untill I've managed to play the guitar well enough things will remain a strugle.
Being a singer-songwriter, my Plan B ever since I was 15. I don't feel to old to make this happen, but I'm afraid I don't have the time to make it real.
Plus, my recent bad luck with health doesn't add to it in a positive way.
  • Mood: Unhappy
More dreams of that attractive man.
Not so many details, but last dream he offered to explain what I had missed in the first dream, outside, while having a smoke. Punchline: We opened the door and I woke up.
In the latest dream last night I called him my husband and we were at some kind of award show or something.
It gets more and more mysterious. Do these dreams mean anything besides my brain beliving I might be lonely?
  • Mood: Bemused
It's about time I woke up.
I've reached the stage of knowing what happens when you don't eat your veggies.
I promise I will eat all my veggies in the future, but please let me wake up and go back to the past now.
I will eat all my veggies and will not let this happen.
While everyone else's thoughts supposingly circle around tea and cake my thoughts are back in a depressive cycle. Hurray for me!
While I'm trying my best to fix myself everything around me falls apart. I lose my job, my car's battery can't keep its energy for two weeks straight (apart from my car falling apart nearly everywhere anyway) and I can't speak my mind.
If life handles you lemons don't make lemonade. Throw them back at life or else it will get the impression that you're able to deal with lemons and next time it handles you coconuts....
  • Mood: Gloomy

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dip-C

Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Germany
Current Residence: Darmstadt
Operating System: Debian
MP3 player of choice: Samsung U5 with Hello Kitty <3
Shell of choice: bash
Skin of choice: My own, thank you... o.O'
Favourite cartoon character: Ichigo Momomiya
Personal Quote: Of course I've lost my marbles since my siblings stole them o.O
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:iconazzeria:
Azzeria Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013  Professional Photographer
Thank you kindly for the :+fav: on Hi, I'm Muppet! ! I appreciate the support :hug:
I'm holding my monthly free print giveaway on my facebook right now. If you enjoy this photo, perhaps you want to participate on a chance to receive it as a print to your home? :) If you would win - you can pick amongst all my photographs.

Facebook fanpage to participate

Have a great remaining weekend!
Best regards,
Ida
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:iconbluesolitaire:
BlueSolitaire Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconfavemoticonplz: :iconsaysplz: "THANKS :D"
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:icondaxxe:
DaXXe Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
:icondaxxeeggplz::iconthxfav1::iconthxfav2::iconthxfav3::iconthxfav4::iconthxfav1::icondaxxeeggplz:
:icontransparentplz::dance::icondweebdanceplz::boogie::iconcarameldansenplz::boogie::icondweebdanceplz::dance::icontransparentplz:
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:iconfrimmi:
frimmi Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav :)
I really appreciate it
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:iconwtek79:
WTek79 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for :+fav: :hug:
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:iconrazors-eye:
Razors-Eye Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
Hey, thanks for the fave!!! :)
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:iconjokicaubicute:
jokicaubicute Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
Thanks for the fav
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:iconmanagesi:
ManaGesi Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Student Photographer
Thanks for the fave! :)
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:iconshady-lady90:
Shady-Lady90 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the fave :happybounce:
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:iconedwardvb:
edwardvb Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
=D thanks for the faves =D
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